So I was extremely bored one day and decided to reread my old xanga blog entries. I was mindlessly skimming/reading through entries when I suddenly noticed that they were all dated back in 2009. My eyeballs popped out of its sockets and rolled to Antarctica (just had a spelling fail. thank god for spellcheck) because I couldn’t believe all those events happened 2-3 years ago!! It’s like I blinked and two years suddenly flew by with a troll face. I realized I got my car two years ago and yet I STILL do not have my license two years later (epic fail much?). I swear im not another bad asian driver, okay maybe I am but at least I haven’t run over any furry friends or Portlandia hipster bikers yet. I vow to get my license before…uh, 2013. I was speaking on the phone with my cousin a few days ago and he told me that I had broken his record because he was the only one in our family (younger generation) who got his license after 18. Holy cow. Im growing old and moldy without even realizing it. Before I know it, people are going to start getting up for me in the priority seating areas on the bus. FML.
(I usually don’t use FML but in this case I cannot find a more suitable word).
Speaking of old, im turning another year older next month. I kind of miss the good ol’ days when I would I start counting down a month before my birthday and plan out this ridiculously mind-blowing birthday party that would’ve even put Kim Kardashian’s 10 million dollar wedding to shame (and it would last even longer than that)…. but unfortunately, none of those plans actually went through. Anyways, my parents would buy me a present and hide it in their closet, but eventually they would not be able to contain their excitement and go, “WE BOUGHT YOU A PRESENT AND HID IT SOMEWHERE. YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIND IT.” Our house is so small that it is impossible to really hide anything (if something in our house is missing it’s probably because my mom secretly donated it to Goodwill) so I always ended up finding it before my actual birthday. The night before my birthday I would be so excited fantasizing about all the presents I may receive that I wouldn’t be able to get a wink of sleep. I really miss those days because I realized that as years go by, my birthday became something that I secretly started to dread. Yeah, im still young but once you hit 18, every year after that just becomes another load of responsibility, another growing pressure to become an independent adult, and another one countless amount of these “You’re already __ years old and you’re still acting like____,” lectures from your mom. For me, another increasing amount of bewildered, poop-their-pants-shocked and omfg-are-you-kidding-me-what-kinda-illness-do-you-have expressions from people when they learn of my age. Sometimes I just want to let it quietly slip by and pretend that I will remain a kid forever : ( yeah I wish I was a bit more optimistic. I told my sister this awhile ago and she said, “You’re so ungrateful. At least you have a family who wants to celebrate your birthday with you.” and at the moment I wish she’d added a slap in my face afterwards because it made me feel so guilty. So from now on I will remind myself that even if I had to take on 100x more load of responsibility and suddenly grow white hairs, it will be worth it.
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